Ch. 16: Love, Anger, Guilt, and Hate Part 2

"You can do it, Marie. The first step is always the hardest."

Her gaze clung to the floor beneath her feet -- dazzling white marble tiles reflected her yellow-bellied face. The first step has been taken, and now she must go through the next baby steps.

Sweating, her left palm shuddered against the concrete wall. The other pressed against her chest, clutching at the thin fabric underneath her white jacket. Unlike the night before when her brain was filled with the thoughts about Rose's survival, she followed Pierre as he carried her in his arms, now... she felt the strength had already weaken.

"Mommy!"

A push from a stretcher against her leg tilted her body aside, concussing her. She blundered and bumped against the wall. The hysterical cry of a child froze her feet. Standing shivering, she watched a hand hung limply over the edge of the stretcher: the hand of a woman... the mother of the child... fingers coated with blood.

The oxygen level in her lungs dropped, absorbed by the thick current of people surrounded the dead body of the woman. Tile floors beneath her feet spun as she sag back against the concrete wall.

"Are you okay?"

A little girl pulled her hand.

Theme Song: Hello by Evanescence

Her eyes: blue, soft, igniting a smile. Little fingers lifted the weight of her fallen body. Even though, covered by a blue hat adorned with a pink ribbon, Marie could see the little girl's hair had all fallen out and her body was  thin...  too thin for a little girl her age.

"It's - It's you, isn't it?" The name hung heavy at the tip of her tongue. "Amy?"

Reaching for the little girl's cheek, her eyes observed closely every round of the girl's wan face. Half excited, half disbelieved, half afraid that the little girl would disappear from her sight, she pulled her hands and held her close.

"I love you, big sis." Marie could hear her soft squeal somewhere nearby. A smile across her face as the wind swept beneath their feet and over their heads. Thousands of lights dispersed and flashed around her small body. Standing in front of her school, her kitty school bag slung across her oversize school shirt. Though some of her hair had fallen out, her pink flowery hat flapped by the wind forced her to grab it and hold it tight, and her body thicken with bones -- pale face dimly lit by thousands of untold pain -- there she was... smiling, still eager to go to her class. And even though some of the other kids ran joyfully in the playground -- so contrary to her standing with exhaustion by  the swollen in her lungs and kidney portrayed by the dark purple below her eyes-- her small feet stepped with large paces she could take...  running toward her, giving her big sister a biggest hug... the biggest hug Marie might never feel again.

The more she observed her, the more she knew her eyes had been deceiving her. "You're not her. You're not...Amy.  Leave! Please leave!"

Turning her back to the little girl, chest pressed against the wall, hands crawling on it, her sweat seeped into the concrete as she felt nothing but guilt. The girl looked hurt already, but she had plodded away with her back hunched -- staring accusingly at her.

The dizziness returned and her body shivered like a broken glass. Even the wall kept bouncing back no matter how hard she tried to press herself against it. It seemed... her efforts to find a soft spot to hide brought her nothing as she had hurt another's feeling. It was so terrible of her -- so terrible that her feet limped, shook, and falling.

"Are you okay?"

A hand shielded her fingers on the wall, squeezing them tight, preventing her from falling, "You don't look so good. ", and then lowering them gently.

“P- Pierre? Take - take me out of here!"

Ch. 16: Love, Anger, Guilt, and Hate Part 1

If a memory could be erased quickly as that, easy as that, and this guilt could easily be snatched away off my chest, I might have found myself standing beside her, my best friend, who's lying on hospital bed,  who needs me at the moment, but here I am... holding my knees. My forehead pressed against my arms, forcing the sweat to sully on the sleeves of my jacket. My knees shakily drawn up in front of me. I saw nothing as the hiccups raced with the bursts of my tears.  

"Stupid...Stupid!" My tongue is at rest, but my heart isn't. I know I should not have acted like this.  I know I should have rushed inside the building and faced the shadows of  doctors and nurses stood in the operation room with their hands covered with blood-- the blood of my mother.

I couldn't understand her reasons as I felt the ice crept up through my bones. How could my mother had chosen to give her life and left me for her?

I didn't want to know about the baby. All I wanted was my mother.

But I knew I could not escape her anymore as I held her in my arms.

My heart melt by her warmth. She looked so much like her. She was the exact resemblance of my mother. My hands began to tremble. I was so afraid that she would slip out of my grips and fall onto the floor, so I held her close and tucked her, sniffing her thin hairs as they brushed against my cheek.

                                 

Her eyes closed tight and she yawned as she finally asleep. My fingers caressed her pluffy cheek  as she held my thumb tightly in her sleep.

Time went by and  she became more than my sister. She was my best friend.

Theme Song: Keep Breathing by Inggrid Michaelson

I love her

and I watched her until she was able to sleep on her own bed. Tucking her at night, I told her stories about Thumbelina and about a fish trying to find his son after getting caught by the fisherman's net.

And as I fixed her blanket --ready to say good night to her -- she asked me to let the light on because she was afraid of the monsters who might leap out of the closet. I chuckled because she reminded me of myself. I was  scared of so many things when I was in her age. Waking up at night and found the bed was wet, mom rushed to see me crying. She hugged me and kissed me on the forehead, letting me to sleep by her side until the morning came. Later, my mother told me that as long as I have these butterfly hair pins she gave to me, I would be okay and that the monster would cease and disappear long before they could even open the door, so  I gave my sister one of those pins and told her that momma would always be there for us.

But now... I know I need more than this butterfly hair pin. Death have taken my sister... right there, inside that building as she held my thumb tightly before she let it go forever.


And now, death is going to take my best friend.

Tell me how life is fair?

Ch 11: The Prisoner

Champs Les Sims Department of Justice 19:00 p.m, present time.

“Major, you’d like to see me?”
“Yes, Lieutenant, any news from the embassy yet?”
“There is, Major. There’s going to be an investigation held soon regarding his death.”
“Investigation? Haven’t we reported that it was a suicide?”
“Yes, Major, but they suspected that it was the result of conspiracy to stop him from leaking important information about the organization and their comrades.”
“Hm…” Major Yves stroke his chin. “As long as they’re not suspecting any involvement from us or that would be ridiculous. All proves clearly stated that he had committed a suicide. However, that’s not going to be our problem, right Lieutenant?”
“Unless the reporters are going to pile on it, Major -- they always do.”
“Hm, right, so, when will the investigation be held, Lieutenant?“
“Tonight, Major. Agent Sam is going to make the observations tonight.”
“Tonight?” Major Yves held his breath.
“Yes, Major. Eight o’clock exactly."

Champs Les Sims Hospital 19:05 p.m.

“Is she okay, Pierre?” Marie Louvre asked the question as soon as he came out of the doctor’s office. Feeling a strong grip on his arms while she was shaking him around, all that he did was only staring at her… blankly. It couldn’t be. Rosaline couldn’t be…

“Pierre?!” Her voice caught him from falling deeply into the bottomless pit of thoughts. Stammering, he finally told her the recent news about Rosaline.

“Rosaline... is unconscious now. The near drowning event had triggered her trauma and-” He took a deep breath,  pulling his strength to say the next heaviest words. ”If she keeps on like that, she will be in a coma.”

“Coma?”

Ch. 9: The Emergence of The Past

Young Valentin ran hastily along the dark alley to find the man he had observed carefully for days.  He stopped at the dead end. With panting breaths, he bowed and leaned on his knees. His  shuddering palm  pressed against his chest to avoid a chance of his heart blowing up in a second Of course, it was only in his mind, but the most frightening part was about to happen. 

Young Valentin stepped toward the man curling up on the ground and next to the dumpster with a long brown rumpled coat covering the man's back while his face was facing the dirty brick wall. He grabbed the tip of the man's coat and with all the courage hidden in his stuttered voice, he woke him up. "S-Sir -"