September 18, 2011

Ch. 16: Love, Anger, Guilt, and Hate Part 2

"You can do it, Marie. The first step is always the hardest."

Her gaze clung to the floor beneath her feet -- dazzling white marble tiles reflected her yellow-bellied face. The first step has been taken, and now she must go through the next baby steps.

Sweating, her left palm shuddered against the concrete wall. The other pressed against her chest, clutching at the thin fabric underneath her white jacket. Unlike the night before when her brain was filled with the thoughts about Rose's survival, she followed Pierre as he carried her in his arms, now... she felt the strength had already weaken.


A push from a stretcher against her leg tilted her body aside, concussing her. She blundered and bumped against the wall. The hysterical cry of a child froze her feet. Standing shivering, she watched a hand hung limply over the edge of the stretcher: the hand of a woman... the mother of the child... fingers coated with blood.

The oxygen level in her lungs dropped, absorbed by the thick current of people surrounded the dead body of the woman. Tile floors beneath her feet spun as she sag back against the concrete wall.

"Are you okay?"

A little girl pulled her hand.

Theme Song: Hello by Evanescence

Her eyes: blue, soft, igniting a smile. Little fingers lifted the weight of her fallen body. Even though, covered by a blue hat adorned with a pink ribbon, Marie could see the little girl's hair had all fallen out and her body was  thin...  too thin for a little girl her age.

"It's - It's you, isn't it?" The name hung heavy at the tip of her tongue. "Amy?"

Reaching for the little girl's cheek, her eyes observed closely every round of the girl's wan face. Half excited, half disbelieved, half afraid that the little girl would disappear from her sight, she pulled her hands and held her close.

"I love you, big sis." Marie could hear her soft squeal somewhere nearby. A smile across her face as the wind swept beneath their feet and over their heads. Thousands of lights dispersed and flashed around her small body. Standing in front of her school, her kitty school bag slung across her oversize school shirt. Though some of her hair had fallen out, her pink flowery hat flapped by the wind forced her to grab it and hold it tight, and her body thicken with bones -- pale face dimly lit by thousands of untold pain -- there she was... smiling, still eager to go to her class. And even though some of the other kids ran joyfully in the playground -- so contrary to her standing with exhaustion by  the swollen in her lungs and kidney portrayed by the dark purple below her eyes-- her small feet stepped with large paces she could take...  running toward her, giving her big sister a biggest hug... the biggest hug Marie might never feel again.

The more she observed her, the more she knew her eyes had been deceiving her. "You're not her. You're not...Amy.  Leave! Please leave!"

Turning her back to the little girl, chest pressed against the wall, hands crawling on it, her sweat seeped into the concrete as she felt nothing but guilt. The girl looked hurt already, but she had plodded away with her back hunched -- staring accusingly at her.

The dizziness returned and her body shivered like a broken glass. Even the wall kept bouncing back no matter how hard she tried to press herself against it. It seemed... her efforts to find a soft spot to hide brought her nothing as she had hurt another's feeling. It was so terrible of her -- so terrible that her feet limped, shook, and falling.

"Are you okay?"

A hand shielded her fingers on the wall, squeezing them tight, preventing her from falling, "You don't look so good. ", and then lowering them gently.

“P- Pierre? Take - take me out of here!"