October 15, 2011

The Departure

The scenery outside the window invites me to come. I rise from my seat and walk towards it. If there's no glass layer ahead of me, I would let my body  be carried away by the wind. Standing at edge of the building, I would look up to the clouds and stretch my hands far apart, feeling the air brushes against my skin: fresh, but mixes with the pollution from the heavy industrial factory. The air felt arid suddenly and pit starts to form in my stomach. Down below  are nothing but hot asphalt and a dumpster not  very far to the spot where I could fall to.

 Don't worry, I'm not going to do a suicide.

I still have Alex, Rose and Val - my babies, and I am still alive. Those are the most important thing that matters... the ones that keep me sane up to this moment, and the good thing is there's still a glass layer holding me from doing the worst.

The fingerprint of my thumb is slowly making its mark on the window. Behind me, laughter and squeals of Rose and Val distract me away. I turn to them and realise how lucky Alex and I are. They're still alive, healthy, cheerful and I couldn't ask for more. They have become my reasons to live -- to be brave to face the things that's been happening now, even though I don't really know what's been happening. Even Alex seems like a stranger to me. 

October 2, 2011

Ch. 17: Follow Into The Dark

Her steps were slow and light. Striding upon expanses of white luminous lights, all around her shone, sparkling, and bright; and as she walked inside this seemingly long and endless tunnel, there's no other voices, only a circular beam of lights in front of her. Touching it, she felt  love, joy, peace swept through her from the tip of her fingers -- those beautiful feelings she would never be able to describe, those miraculous feelings she had been longing for in her life.

'This is it." She knew the light was going to take her to a place and it's going to be the end of her journey, the end of her seeking, but as she touched the sparkling light, the center of lights radiating pure and divine love, she felt unworthy enough to enter it.


Remorses caught her languid soul. 

Yet, the pure light once again embraced her, healing every parts of her broken soul, convinced her that there's no other love greater than His love, and then she remembered about the physics lesson in Mrs. Danielle's class... about the supermassive black hole in the universe. Ring of lights and gases with transitory bright spots twirled and radiated, pulling everything around it. Anything would be crushed in a matter of second, but the light in front of her is entirely different. She knew she would be okay. She knew she would always be safe.

But she knew then that she wasn't alone. Someone was waiting behind her, waiting for her to turn around. She felt his warmth, his presence, standing few feet apart from her. Although she hadn't turned around yet, she always knew when he was near... like always.